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Okay, so this is just funny convos between friends and family. Some are random, weird and some are just plain hilarious. I'll explain them as best as I can..
Sitting in McDonalds and Dustin decided to be real funny..
Dustin - Ooooh look who's there!! Don't look, don't look!!
Erika - Okay..who? Who is it? Who is it?!?!?
Dustin - Your mom!
Erika - Really?
Dustin - No!!
Erika - Oh..
One of the blessings of age is to learn not to part on a note of sharpness, to treasure the moments spent with those we love, and to make them whenever possible good to remember, for time is short
-Eleanor Roosevelt
In Active Health class...me and Amanda were pretty bored..haha!!
Erika - Amanda I'm so anorexic
Amanda - Hehe..surre.
Erika - Excuse I'll be right back I gotta go puke..
Amanda - Uh Erika one problem, that's bulimic..
Erika - Oh right!!..Haha whatever its still funny!!
Amanda - Hahahahha yah!! Hahahahha!
Me and Dustin walking aimlessly down the street in Mission..trying to find something to do..
Me - We should throw a penny at a hobo and say get a job.
Dustin - Nah, lets sit beside one and talk about how rich we are!!
Me - YAH!
Ok...Craig was coming over to the Grey Cup Party and we were coming back from the bank when I saw a lady in another car that looked like my Grade 3 teacher. Wow Craig needs a hearing aid..lmao!!
Erika - Whoa is that Ms. Voth?
Craig - WHAT? Did you just say you look like a sloth?
Erika - WHAT?!?! Hahhahahahahahha!!
Kay there are a lot of these..but its me and Kayla in Science class. We have some strange conversations there. I showed her my impressive toungue curling thing..and she was pretty amazed..
Kayla - Haha! How do you do that with your toungue?
Erika - Meh...I'm not sure...all my cousins and at least one of my aunties can do it so it might be genetic
---Silence---
Kayla - Yah well my dad wet the bed till he was 12...so it might be genetic!!
Erika - Huh?
Kayla - You know.. the commercial...?
Erika - OH! Ha!!
Craig was over at my house and him and my mom were dissing each other and then I attempting to diss my mom...
Mom - Hey don't protect her! Why are you doing that?!?!
Craig - Yah well I have to protect Erika cause she's not too good with her burns..
Erika - Hey! I have my moments!
Craig - Yah breif ones..
Erika - Oh shut up!
Me and Kayla sitting in Science class when Bonnie the youth worker walks in and across the room.
Kayla - Who's that??
Erika - Bonnie..she's a youth worker.
Kayla - Yah I know..but whats that??
--Erika looks annoyed and surprised---
Erika - SHE WORKS WITH YOUTH!! ISN'T THAT PRETTY SELF-EXPLANITORY?!?!
---Writing definitions in Science---
Kayla - What was the last part of the sentence?
Erika - Uh....dust and gas...
Kayla - Okay.
---Awkward Silence---
---Erika smirks evily---
Erika - Sounds like what comes out of my brother's ass when he farts..
Kayla - HAHAHAHA!
Kayla was looking at my paper for one of my electives and looked really confused..
Kayla - Erika..
Erika - Yah??
Kayla - It goes C+, C, C-?
Erika - Umm..yah...
Kayla - Really? I thought it went C, C+, C-...
Erika - Oh my god Kayla..
Me and Kayla bored in Science..finished our homework..talking. Trust me..on this one you had to be there..
Erika - I have a bad bad hair day today. This morning I brushed my hair and it was all facing forward like this..
---Erika shows Kayla how it was---
Kayla - BAM!!!!!!!
---Laughs---
In Science...once again...and we are looking up definitions when we come across the word "bile"
Erika - Eww...they had to drink that stuff in Fear Factor..
Kayla - What is it??
Erika - ...Uh its like greenish yellow stuff secreeted from the liver..but on Fear Factor it was Cows liver..
--Kayla makes a disgusted face---
Kayla - Well...what does it look like?
Erika - Kind of like flem..the stuff you cough up..especially when you sick.
--Kayla makes sounds like she's trying to make a loogie---
Erika - I didn't need a demonstration!!
Ok once again this is in Science class...when me, Kayla, Chantelle, Brett and Kyle were just talking about random things.
Chantelle - My step brother was born in the back of the car.
--Everyone at the table gives her a weird look---
Chantelle - No really...he's the same age as me..but I bug him about it everyday.
--All of us giggle---
Chatelle - Yah they were stuck in traffic so they had to pull over.
Kayla - Well what did they cut the cord with?
Kyle - The keys?
Erika - Pfft! Hahahaha!
Haha me and Auntie Michelle were on msn..it's kinda random..but whatever LOL!
Auntie Michelle - Your a bag!
Erika - Excuse me? Did you just call me a bag?
Auntie Michelle - Yes, I did.
Erika - Yah, well your a fag!
Auntie Michelle - Oh really?
Me and Adam were playing San Andreas..and I went into this place that I thought was a 'Pay n Spray' but it turned out I put a bomb in my car..because once the car came out it said "Bomb Activated"..
Adam - Bomb Activated?
Erika - Okay thats weird..but if anything happens its still my turn..
--Car blows up--
Erika - HA!
Adam - Oh maaaaannnn!
Erika - Haha! You suck its still my turn!!
Me and Amanda were walking to P.E. class and we saw some guy Amanda knows named Ante..he was pretty hot LOL!
Amanda - Hey Ante..
Ante - Hi
Erika - He's hot..
Amanda - IIIII know!
Okay there are a couple of me, Channy and Tara (cousin) up at the lake..so here is one of them. Tara and Channy found a bee that couldn't fly..and by the time I came back from getting a drink they had already named it, said they were its mother and father, and were determined to make it fly. They called me its aunt..lol!
Tara - Hey Erika look! We found this bee while you were gone! He can't fly so we're gonna help him!
Channy - Yuppers..his name is Billy and we are his mom and dad!
Erika - Umm okay..well then what does that make me?
Tara - Umm your his aunt!
Erika - Alright!!
Tara - And look we even made up the bee dance
---They show me the dance---
Erika - Remind me why I'm your guy's friend again?
Channy - Cause your just as cool as us!
Tara - Yah!!
Erika - Oh god kill me now!!
Tara - Dad! He wants you!
Channy - WHAT?!?!
Tara - Your the dad!!
Channy - Well I've been having an affair!
Tara - Thats it we're divorced!!!!
Channy - Fine!!
Erika - You guys are wack to say the least!!
Tara & Channy - Hahahahahhha!!
Okay and then later that night I was pretty upset and this just made my day..HAHAHAHA!! Kyle (cousin), Tara and Channy were sitting on chairs and I was sitting on the ground. Tara sat on Channy and then Channy pushed Tara onto Kyle's lap and he looked really surprised! Then this lady Bev..was pretty drunk..and yah here it is..
Kyle - Whoa wtf?!?!
Bev - NOW I KNOW WHY THIS FAMILY IS SO BIG!!
--We all look at her confused--
Bev - You all are inbreds!!
--Channy starts to laugh...but the rest of us didn't know what it was so we were confused..lmao!!--
Channy - You guys are so stupid! You know..inbreds? When family screws family to make other little deformed family?--
--Tara, Erika and Kyle laughs sooooooooo hard--
Me and Melissa were on msn and I was craving KFC...god you'd think I was pregnant or something..(It's a joke people!!)
Erika: I need a 20 piece bucket.
Melissa: Of what?
Erika: Chicken.
Melissa: Umm.. what are you talking about?
Erika:I don't no...what did I just say?
Melissa: You asked me for a 20 piece bucket?
Erika: Oooooh.
Melissa: Your so f***** up..
Erika: Oh my goodness.. I know... I should go.
Melissa: Kay. Love yah!! Bye.
Erika - Peace out girl scout!!
Okay this one is very random..my mom was watching that Trident Splash commercial when all those people get splashes at the bus stop...
Mom - Hey look that gothic girl looks like Erika..she got splashed walking down the street too
Erika - Haha. Thanks mom.
Mom - Gothic..what a strange word..
Erika - Your such a nerd
Mom - I am not!
Erika - You are so!
Mom - The only nerd in this house is you!
Erika - AND YOU!!
Mom - Your more of a nerd!
Erika - Kay now I'm just confused
Mom - Me too..
Kay this one is the most random yet..
Erika - Mom the wire is popping out of my bra!
Mom - Is it one of those new ones I bought?
Erika - Yup
Mom - Oh my god! It happened to mine too!
Mom - I gotta keep receipts for all the crap I buy around here..
Erika - Your telling me..I can't even get a decent bra around here!!
Jeenah was talking about snowboarding.. I was playing along with her ..lol!
Jeenah - I did a bunch of jumps last year with my sis snowboarding
Erika - Really? I went snowboaring last year too..before I met you I guess. And I like almost cracked my head open
Jeenah - I hit a jump and busted my ankle
Erika - I flipped 5 times
Jeenah - I rolled to the bottom
Erika - Yeah well...
Erika - I gotta bloody nose
Jeenah - I had a BROKEN nose
Erika - I BROKE MY LEG!!
Jeenah - I broke my arm!!!!!
Erika - Too bad we're lying about all of this..
Jeenah - Yaaaah
Okay me and Tara were talking on msn about going camping in the summer with the family! (If it happens..)
Erika - Well Auntie Michelle might come..so all of us will go if she does!! Auntie Lynnae, Auntie Michelle, You, Me, Kelsey, and Steph!
Tara - Member Jeff might come..?
Erika - Well Auntie Michelle comes before Jeff!!
Tara - Nu uh!!
Tara - LMAO! JAY KAY!!!!
Erika - LMAO! JAY KAY TIMES 2!!! lmao!!
Erika - Because if Jeff pulls any moves on you I'll have to thrust you to proove to him that your ALL MINE!!
Tara - LMAO INBRED!!!!!!
Erika - ROFL ROFL!!!!!
Erika - Good times..HAHA!
Tara - Haha!!
Me and Jeenah were on her computer and I was showing her pics of my family..
Jeenah - Who are those two ladies?
Erika - Oh, thats my Auntie Michelle and my Auntie Lynnae
Jeenah - Wow they are so pretty!
Erika - Yah I know.
Jeenah - No, like really pretty!!
Erika - Umm yah I know...
Jeenah - They sooooooooo cuuuuuute!
Erika - Whoa, ok now your starting to scare me!!
Jeenah - Oh don't worry your just as cute!!
Erika - Aww shucks thanks!
---Jeenah grabs me and gives me a big bear hug---
Jeenah - Oh come here you cute little plum you!!
Erika - Plum? Kay so what.. are you saying I'm fat, sweet and round?
Jeenah - Uh huh.
Erika - Well thanks I love you too darling!!
--Erika hugs her back---
In the car going out for Boston Pizza and my mom's boyfriend was being a dumb blonde..lmao!
Doug - Have you guys ever had a nougat?
Adam, Erika and Mom - WHAT?!?
Erika - You mean a noogie?
Doug - Uh, yah.
Mom - Oh my friggen god..
Erika & Adam - Hahahahahhahahaha!
At Boston Pizza we were talking about different sayings and quotes.
Erika - Well like they say.."Your only as strong as the drinks you mix, the tables you dance on and the friends you roll with"
Doug - Roll with?
Erika - Yah.
Doug - Do you know what that means?
Erika - Obviously!
Doug - What does it mean?
Erika - Uh, like the friends you hang out with..
Doug - NO! I means you have sex with your friends..
Erika - What the hell? No it doesn't!!!
Doug - Yah it does!
Erika - Okay well maybe it did back when they rode the dinosaurs to school old man!
Doug - I'm serious it does!
Erika - Well thats not what teenagers think it means these days!
Doug - Teenagers don't think.
Erika - Yah you have a point there...
Erika: Jeenah, you have to help me with my thermos. I think Im going to paint it blue. Cause you know, it doesn't attract heat, or un attract heat.
Jeenah: Blue is a cold color.
Erika: Well black attracts ---- (PAUSE) HEY!? How is Blue a cold color??
Erika: You always hog the mattress!!
Dustin: Well, its not--
--Heard a really big bang---
Dusin and Me: AHHH!!!!
Erika: Oh my gosh, that was so scary!
Dustin: Oh I know! It all the sudden just got really dark. Do you think the Rapture came?
Erika: DUSTIN DONT SCARE ME!!
Dustin: Im sorry, but do you think it did?
Erika: Should we check to see if your parents are still here?
Erika: Mel, can you shut the closet door?
Melissa: No, you do it. Why does it matter?
Erika: I think Satan's in there staring at me!
Melissa: SHUT UP!
Okay this was before school and Chantel, me and Amanda were waiting for the bell to ring..just talking.
Chantel - Hey I was thinking..you know sheep? Is that plural and singular?
Erika & Amanda - Umm I don't know.
Chantel - Well because I know 'sheep' you can be talking about a lot of sheep..
Erika - Uh huh...
Chantel - Well then whats singular? SHEP?? Hahahahha
Erika & Amanda - Hahahahahahahahaha!!
Erika - Oh my god! Something really stinks over here!
Mom - Haha..well what is it?
Erika - I'm..uh not sure but its REALLY BAD!!! I hope its not me .. :S
Mom - Haha well when did you last have a shower?
Erika - Tomorrow..I mean uh yesterday..haha.
Mom - Whoa yah you really have me confused for a sec..
Erika - Yah I confused myself...
Mom - ASSS Usual!!
Erika - Haha yaaaaa
Jeenah: Why are the buttons so big??
Erika: My buns!??!?! *puts hand on butt*
Jeenah: Haha!
Erika: Pick a letter from the alphabet..
Melissa: "Y"
Erika: Because I said so!!
Melissa: Yeah, I said 'Y'!
Erika: Oh...
Erika - Oh my gosh! We could be like Beauty and the Beast!
Jeenah - I call dibs on BEAUTY.
Erika - Screw that! I'm gonna be the clock.
Jeenah - HAHAHAHAHHA!!!
Me and Auntie Lynnae were sitting on the couch. My voice starts to get all deep when I get tired..I don't know its weird..
Erika - Oh my goodness! Listen to my voice!
Auntie Lynnae - Yah..it's sexy!
Erika - SEXY?!?!
Auntie Lynnae - Yes!
Erika - I SOUND LIKE A MAN!!!!
Auntie Lynnae - Hahahaha!
Me and Amanda in math class
Amanda - I'm so tired, bored and cold
Erika - Your hard? Whoa Amanda EWWW!!
Amanda - WHAT?!?! I said I'm tired, bored and cold.
Erika - Oh.
Amanda - Your such a loser..
Erika - I know...
Me, Chantelle and her sister Nicole were walking home from school and we were playing that game where you have to say a fruit whenever a car passes...
Nicole - Kiwi!
Erika - Mango!
Chantelle - Banana Sauce! ...Err I mean applesauce! F**k I'm such an idiot!
Nicole & Erika - Hahahahha
Me and Jeenah were talking on the phone and I wasn't really listening to her. I heard the last part though..
Jeenah - You like naked girls on wheelchairs, Erika?
Erika - Oh, are we talkign abot Dustin??
Jeenah - Yah..how'd you know?
Erika - I heard naked and wheelchair and just made a connection...
Jeenah - Hahaha!
Me and Jeenah were doing homework, and drinking orange juice..
Jeenah - Man Erika, we are so cool..sitting here bored doing homework and drinking OJ.
Erika - Yup..there arn't many people in this world that have time for that anymore.
Jeenah - I agree..but we're still cool right?
Erika - Yep..pretty much..
Jeenah - Lets make waffles!!
Erika - Aiight GANGSTA!
I was having this interesting question with Oliver at Oliverbot.com..haha
Erika - Screw you!
Oliverbot - Why are you so mean?
Erika - Because you touch yourself at night!!
Oliverbot - That makes sense to me. Do you mind if I tell other people I touch myself at night?
At my birthday party..me, Chantelle and Adam were playing the game of life. We were listening to Eminem on my stereo..and the lyric "my weenie is like sticking a banana between 2 oranges"...
Adam - Woww..that would be big..
Chantelle - I tried that once..
Erika - Ok.. (laughs)
Adam - Were they madarin oranges?
Chantelle - Actually yes..yes they were
---Everyone laughs and then continues playing..---
I tell yah..never a dull moment with these two freeks lmao jk guys! :P
Mom, Doug, Me, Nicole, and Chantelle were in the truck...discussing cars..
Doug - Yah my uncle had a Monte Carlo..he raced it all the time.
Erika - Monte Carlo? You guys need to check up on your cars! You mean what your TRYING to say is your uncle had a Monte Cristo!
--Everyone laughs---
Erika - WHAT?!
Mom - A Monte Cristo is a drink!
Erika - Ohh..SHUT UP!
Me and Jeenah were just fooling around telling each other about funny and weird moments that have happened in our lives..
Jeenah - Then this one time when I was in grade 6..I popped my left arm bone out of the inner part of my elbow
Erika - Eww...ok when I was camping, and chasing a squirrel who got my donut. It earned me the 3 year long nickname with some people "chipmunk chaser"
Jeenah - Haha this one time someone kept calling me a slut in McDonalds..so I threw a burger at his head, then I picked up a stool and hit him in the back of the head.
Erika - Really?!?! What happened?
Jeenah - I wasnt allowed back.
Mel - Erika, you punk
Erika - Wha? Did you just call me a monk?
Mel - NO!! NUMB NUTS!
Erika - WELL WHAT?! I DIDN'T HEAR YOU!!
Okay..I was in Alberta for spring break so there are a few of these. Me, my Uncle Mike, and my cousin Lonita (Loni) were going through the drive-thru at Tim Hortons.
Uncle Mike - Kayy what do you guys want?
Loni - Umm get a 30 pack of timbits..
Me - Yah and 2 medium English Toffee's.
Uncle Mike - Okay.
--Person on the intercom asks him what he wants--
Uncle Mike - Uh yeah I'd like a 30 pack of tidbits and 2 toffee foffies..
Loni&Me - Hahahahahhahaha!! Thats not it!! Hahahahahaha
Person on the intercom - Excuse me sir?
Loni - Sorry about that! Can we get 2 medium english toffee's and a 30 pack of TIMBITS!!
My cousin Loni (27) and her best friend Julie (22) and me when to Ikea to get Julie a shelf. Well Loni was kinda in love with the colors on the bed spread. She was rolling around in the sheets...
Loni - OH MY GOD I LOVE THESE SHEETS!! I LOVE THE COLORS..AND ITS WARM!!! OH WOWWW
--Workers & Shoppers give her a funny look--
Julie - Loni..look at the sign! It says no kidding around!! We're supposed to keep our kids off of them!!
Me - Yah c'mon Loni!
Loni - Awwww!
Chantelle was being very talkative at 1:00 in the morning when we were going to sleep at my house...I was trying to go to sleep...
Chantelle - (sits up) OMG!! WTF WAS THAT?!?!
Erika - (rolls over) What?
Chantelle - I just say a red blinking light!!
Erika - The only red lights in this room are the lights from my clock...and from my stereo..and niether one blinks!!
Chantelle - WELL I SAW A BLINKING RED LIGHT!!!!!
Erika - Well its not my problem. So lay off the crack, roll over and go to sleep before I smack ya!!
Chantelle - Fine..sorry. Goodnight.
Erika - Goodnight Chantelle.
Chantelle - But its freaking me out beca-
Erika - I SAID GOODNIGHT CHANTELLE!!!
Chantelle - Sorry..goodnight.
Erika - Howwwwwwwww Yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!
Dustin - What the hell are you even saying?
Erika - I'm saying "How Yeah" but like... in a cheering way *makes a fist*
Dustin - *pats Erika on the back*
Erika - *Smiles and walks away*
Mel - OMG ERIKA LOOK!!
--Erika Looks---
--Erika looks at the picture--
Erika - Aww c'mon delete it!!
Mel - No it's funny!!
Erika - But my butt is hanging out!!
Mel - Not your butt, just your thigh...and I like it..
Erika - Your disturbed..
Jeenah - Your gay.
Erika - Not as gay as you!
Jeenah - But you try..
Erika - I know
Jeenah - I love you!
Erika - I love you too!
Erika: Dustin what was that sound? It sounded like a cat dieing..
Dustin: I DONT HAVE A CAT!!
Erika - Ohh yah I forgot..sh*t son..Hahahhahahaha!
Dustin - Oh my!
Me and Auntie Lynnae were walking out of Superstore talking about the BBQ she wants to buy.
Auntie Lynnae - Ohh well..I guess I'll just put the chicken in the oven tonight
Erika - Yah..it doesn't matter to me..its still chicken
Auntie Lynnae - Yah but to cook chicken we need a chicken..
--We both turn around and start back toward the store--
Me and Auntie went to the check-yourself-out thingy in Superstore..and I was getting kinda frusterated...
Erika - WTF?!?! SCAN YOU FREEKIN ICE CREAM!!
Auntie Lynnae - Hahaha!
--I try to lift the plastic so it would scan the barcode. It still didn't work--
Erika - Errrrrg ...screw it..
--I ripped the plastic off violently--
Auntie Lynnae - There yah go...
Erika - There yah go Mr. Ice Cream! Don't ever mess with me again!!
--Plunks the ice cream into the bag--
Auntie Janie was over for Easter and she's almost as blonde as me..so I decided to play a little joke. She wanted to me to go get the white pages for her..and I came back with it but I was trying to convince her that they were the yellow pages..
Auntie Janie: Can you go get the White Pages for me?
Erika: Sure..
--Comes back with them--
Erika: Wait arn't these the yellow pages?
Auntie Janie: No they are the White Pages!
Erika: Nu uh! They are yellow!!
Auntie Janie: NOOOO THEY ARE THE WHITE PAGES!!
Erika: Haha I know I was just messin' with yah!
Steph - You think I'm weird now don't you?
Erika - Of course not! Your my S-Dog, she could never be weird! At least not as weird as me!!
Steph - Yah no one could be weirder then you!
Erika - Well shucks I take that as a compliment!
On the phone with Jeenah
Erika: Jeenah, today I woke up and I said.."You know what? Screw going to college...I'll be a hooker!
Jeenah: Oh my god me too!!
Erika: Sweet we can be sluts together!
Jeenah: Awesome.
Jeenah: Whatcha gonna do about it!?!? huh huh!?!?!
Erika: Punch you in the face
Jeenah: Ohh look at me.. I'm shaking in my space boots..
Erika: You have space boots?!?! I want some!!
Jeenah: Go to the space store, they're on sale!!
Erika: Oh my gosh, really? Holy sh*t we shoud go and get some space pants!!! I could use some of those
Jeenah: My other ones got stolen
Erika: Really?!? Well thats a kick in the space ass
Jeenah: Haahahahahhahahaha
Erika: Hahahahahaa
Erika: I wish I was supergirl
Dustin: You are to me
Grandma: Where did you get that shirt ?
Me: The Garage.
Grandma: What garage ?
Me: Haha! It's a store in the mall.
Me: What happens if you put ice on you eyes? Do they freeze?
Mel: Are you kidding me?
Me: No I'm being serious..
Mel: Hahaha! They wouldn't freeze!
Me: Are you sure?
Mel: I think I'm pretty positive about that one..
Me: Haha ya ok. They probably would and you know it
and you want me to freeze my eyes. I know you too well
Mel: Why would I want that to happen ?
Me: I think you know that better then I do!
Mel: Haha umm I wouldnt want that to happen ?
Me: We'll see. Or wont see, cause my eyes will be frozen...
Mel: I give up
Me: Kayy you know what... getting drunk isnt that fun
Adam: Well I want to one day!
Me: Haha your like 11!
Adam: 12?
Me: Haha oh yeah.
Adam: Your stupid
Me: Haha I am.
Dustin: You just want BANG BANG BANG!
Me: Haha omg no I don't why do you say that all the time!
Dustin: Cause it's true?
Me: Haha screw you!
Dustin: Haha what part of GET OFF don't you understand!?!
Me: Haha god, **** you!
Chantelle - *looks at me really cute* You know what I love?
Me - Me?
Chantelle - Cookies..
Me - Oh thanks..
Chantelle - No problem..know what else I love?
Me - What? Me?
Chantelle - No..the smell of coffee..
---I walked away---
Dustin: There was these two black girls in the 80's, they called themselves salt 'n' pepa
Erika: Who names there group salt 'n' pepa, was one of them white.... oh wait
Rachelle: We should go to Alaska
Erika: What is there to do in Alaska?
Rachelle: Tobaggon dumbass
Erika: What, you want to tobaggon into the freekin'ocean?
Erika: Big, Will, Thats, My, Name
Mel: You make me want to stop listening to rap music
Erika: Oh my, i have to go to the bathroom again and my stomach hurts still
Jeenah: Shut up, im sick of hearing about your problems
Erika: It's like i have this massive infection thats in my stomach and its going to move into my bladder
Jeenah: Now that's attractive
Dustin: DAMNIT!!, my agenda's at school, i cant look at it, then again, i never use it so
Erika: Did you just say you left your genitals at school?
Dustin: No! I said agenda
Erika: Ok good, phew i was going be like Jeenah, how the hell did you do that?
Dustin - HAHA!
Erika: Haha, im shaking my booty in bed, i must look so sexy!
Mom: You look like a retarded fish
Mel was doing her homework and I was trying to help her..I'm not very good at this kind of stuff..LOL!
Mel: Erika, what should I name my rollercoaster?
Erika: Name it Melissa
Mel: Why?
Erika: Cause then everyone will ride it. oh wait...crap that doesn't sound too good.
Dustin: F*** i hate my computer, its a whore
Erika: Why?
Dustin: I dont know but i want to shoot it
Erika: Well then you would have a dead whore for a computer.. that wouldn't be any good
Dustin: Do you know how difficult you are sometimes?
Dustin was trying to help me with my homework. I was working on compound fractions..lol
Erika - Okay...so then we multiply that by the denominator
Dustin - Denominator..that kinda sounds like a schwarzenegger movie don't it? I AM THE DENOMINATOR! I WILL GIVE YOU A COMPOUND FRACTURE!!
Erika - Omg can you help me instead of making dumb jokes..?
Dustin - Well it was funny..
Erika - Hahahahahahahahahaha ya it was!!
Jeenah - Shows you how much u shop
Erika - I shop a lot I just dont pay attention to sleeping people
Jeenah - Except one time when I saw a sleeping hobo
Erika - Wow. He was hot.
Jeenah - Ohh yes
Me and Kelsey were on msn and she asked if the picture of me and Jeenah having a bathtub was in my bathroom...:S
Kelsey - Hey is the picture of you and Jeenah in the bathtub in your tub?
Erika - NO! My bathtub is YELLOW!!
Kelsey - Well SORRRRRRRRRRRRY I don't photographically memorize colors of peoples bathubs!
Erika: I have to tell your cousin im not gunna be at her party
Jeenah: Why aren't you going
Erika: I'm going to the lake at my dad's
Jeenah: No, dont tell her that. Say your grandmother died
Erika: *laughs hysterically* Okay I'll try it Hahahahahaha!
***later on***
Erika: The grandma excuse is great..I'm gunna use it all the time..but wait then people will wonder how many frickin grandmas I have..
Jeenah: Tell them your family intermarried so badly everyone's your grandma..
Erika:*dies laughing*
Erika - Owwwwieee there is something in my nose and its itchy but it hurrts!
Doug - Maybe its a brain tumor..
Erika - IN MY NOSE??
Doug - Well maybe thats where your brain is..
Erika - *rolls eyes*
Me, Nicole, Chantelle, my Mom and my brother were driving home after school when we saw this really hot guy washing his car in his driveway..
Erika - Whoa. HELLO! Lookit that guy!
Nicole - Fine piece of ASS right there..DAMNNN!
Chantelle - *yells out the window* WOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOOOO
---The guy looks---
Everybody - Hahahahaha good one Chantelle!
Me and my mom were at safeway and she wanted me to grab a certain kind of laundry soap..
Erika - Which kind?
Mom - Uhh grab morning fresh..
Erika - Kay.
Mom - Yah I don't wanna walk around smelling like a lemon...
Erika - Hahahahaha!
My dad and his girlfriend Eve, and her daughter Melissa were coming out of the mall back towards his truck...you see I always bug him about his truck being purple..lmao..
Eve - Where were we parked?
Erika - Hmmm I don't know..look for the PURPLE truck!
Melissa - Omg! I never realized it is purple!~
Dad - No it isn't its maroon!
Erika - Uhh no dad, maroon is a darkish red..your is purple
Dad - Is NOT!
Erika - Whatever! Oh I see it!!
Eve - (getting in to the truck) I guess it is purple!
Dad - (gives her a dirty look)
Melissa & Me - HAHAHAHAHA!
Erika - My butts hurt..
Chantelle - Your butts?
Erika - Yes..thats plural because I'm feeling rather large today..
Chantelle - HAHA!
Michelle - Tell me if Lynnae puts up the picture on her site with me..the picture with the wide hips and the black shirt.
Erika - Okay I will.
Michelle - Kay thanks
Erika - Oh she has the picture!!
Michelle - Where?
Erika - Oh she made a knew page..humiliating sister pics!
Michelle - What? Are you kidding? Are you freekin SERIOUS!?!
Erika - No I'm kidding just wanted to see a reaction out of ya!!
Michelle - F*ck YOU!
Erika - Right back at cha!! :D You can't see but I'm fingering the screen!
Michelle - LOL!
Me and Chantelle were watching like 3 hours of dog the bounty hunter...lol hes our convo..
Erika - Holy sh*t its 8:00pm!
Chantelle - Wow we have no life
Erika - You got that right.
Kay me and Dustin went to this thing going on in mission..this fair kinda thing. And we went to go humor ourselves with the physchic..lmao
Physchic - "I'm sorry to say this but...in your past lives you both have like pressured someone into doing sexual things.
Erika + Dustin - (look at each other at the exact same time) "BUT I'VE DONE THAT IN THIS LIFE!"
*Start Laughing Histerically*
Talking to Tara (cousin) on msn.
Erika - Guess what..
Tara - What?
Erika - Porcupines can float, because their quills are hollow.
Tara - Wow. USELESS FACTS coming straight from you Erika!!
Erika - lmfao
Tara - lmao
Dustin: I'm gonna get this cool phone it can take an hour of video and tons of room for pictures.
Erika:You better not be taking pictures of me
Dustin:Of course I won't be, I'll be taking videos.
Erika: Crap, I forgot what Nightmare Before Christmas is called.
Mom:Thats got to be the stupidest thing I've ever heard you say.
*Erika and Jeenah playing rock paper scissors*
Melissa: You guys need lives
Erika: You need a life!
Melissa:You're playing rock, paper, scissors
Erika: Yeah, wanna play too?
Melissa:..YES!
Me and my mom pulling into wal-mart and I told her my bra was too small..haha!
Erika - Mama I need a new bra..
Mom - Oh my god..
Erika - What?
Mom - We're gonna have to get ahold of Dog the Bounty Hunter's wife and ask her where she gets her bras!!
Erika - MOM!!!
Me and Chantelle were walking home from school and there were these 2 guys behind us and they were talking really loudly!
Chantelle (yells) - WHOA ERIKA THOSE GUYS BEHIND US ARE REALLY LOUD!!
Erika - Hahahahahaha!
Me and my mom were quizzing each other with menus in Boston Pizza. Like whats in them and all that...
Erika - Okay..how about nachos?
Adam (bro) - How about nacho men?
Erika & Mom - Hahahahahahahaha!
Mom - Tons of ice cream piled high on a...?
Erika - Plate?
Then my brother was quizzing me..
Adam - Okay...it starts with an 'a'..and ends with a 's'
Erika - Ass??
I was doing my project on hormones and we were talking about how we didn't know that ovaries affected your boobs, hips, legs etc. etc. and then chantelle drew me a diagram..lmao!!
Erika - Don't do it on a piece of paper!
Chantelle - Well too late! I'll throw it out after!
Erika - Okay..whatever
---Laughs---
--5 minutes later after she's finished drawing..--
Chantelle - Like it?
Erika - Its wonderful..*rolls eyes*
Chantelle - I'll make the boobs into a pot
Erika - Haha..yah and put flowers in it.
Chantelle - HAHAHA! Okay!!
---After Chantelle is finished drawing..---
Chantelle - Want it?
Erika - Aww ok!!
Mom - Erika, I told you not to tie up the phone! I was expecting a call!
Erika - Hey, thats not fair that you always blame me!
Mom - Was it?
Erika - Yah but it still isn't fair!
Me, Auntie Lynnae, and Tara were on our way to Superstore and it was HOTTTTT in the car and so she turned the AC.
Auntie Lynnae - Erika, how's it back there, you still hot?
Erika - Nah I'm good
Auntie Lynnae - How about you Tara? Nice and cool?
Tara - Yah
Auntie Lynnae - Good.
Tara - My lips are sticking together...
Auntie + Me - HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHA!
Me and Adam talking on msn and being random after he came back from football camp
Adam - Look, if ice cream was the size of this ball it would be a fat kid's dream!
Erika - Wet dream.
Adam - LMAO! Yah wet dream..good one!!
Erika - LMAO!
My brother's name is Adam, and my dad's girlfriend's name is Eve. Me and Tara were dancing to a song at the lake while Auntie Michelle was taping it. The song had a lyric...something about Adam & Eve who were apperently the first people on Earth...
--Tara and Erika dancing, when the lyric comes on--
Tara - Whoa..thats weird Adam and Eve..(puts her fingers together)
Erika - (opens her mouth like she is surprised and slaps her cheeks)
Tara - Thats weird
Erika - Pfft HA!
Me and Tara were sitting on the picnic table with the adults while our other cousin Brett was showing us a card trick. He did it too me and me and Tara were really shocked so she decided to make it 'hard' for him
Tara - Kay I'm going to shuffle these so its impossible to get it right.
Erika - Good luck..
---Erika continues talking with the adults while Tara shuffles---
Erika - (looks over at Tara) Your STILL shuffeling??
Tara - Yup, I'm done..(pushes the cards over to Brett) If he does it right I'm gonna flip.
--Brett does the trick right, and finds her card--
Tara - WHOA!!!!!! (jumps out of her seat) Thats CRAZY! I'm leaving!
Erika & Brett - Haha!!
Me and Kelsey were on the couch watching the adults fix the sliding door.. and she asked me what I got at the mall
Kelsey: Sooo...what else did you get at the mall?
Erika: Umm a couple bras from la senza, I got..a few shirts..
Kelsey: And I got swollen gums..
Erika: (gives her a 'wtf'? look)
--Starts laughing majorly hard--
Me and Auntie Michelle were sleeping in the spare bedroom upstairs and I wouldnt shut up.
Erika: And there was this girl that lived next door and she couldn't speak English very well and she was like...FAFAFA...and then..
Auntie Michelle: (kills herself laughing..snorting and all)
Erika: WHAT?!?! That's what she sounded like!!
When we were going through wal mart everyone was talking about how i put auntie's new underwear over my head..lol
Erika: Haha..HEY AUNTIE! Think of me next time you wear those underwear!
--Everyone giggles--
Kelsey: Noooo AUNTIE PANTIES!
--Everyone dies laughing--
Me and Auntie were behind Steph and Kel..wondering if there was anyone who could take a pic of all four of us together
Auntie Michelle: We could ask that lady
Erika: YAH RIGHT! I betcha she don't even speak English!
Auntie Michelle: Yah your right..PITCHA! PITCHA!
Erika: AHAHAHHAAHA GOOD ONE!
Me, dad, his girlfriend Eve, and my cousin Kelsey went to the suspension bridge. And after we went up the 300 stairs..we were exhausted...and kinda lost..
Me: Okay well that sign says 'Rice Lake'
Dad: That's funny, I always thought her name was 'Ricki Lake'
We saw bear sighting signs so I decided to be funny..yeah right.
Me: (says it REAL fast) HOLY SHIT A BEAR!
--Everyone says where?--
Me: HAHA! Just kidding!!
Dad: What is that some kind of indian tribe? HOLYSHITABEAR??
--Everyone laughs--
We went camping and Adam came with us. Our so called 'neighbours' always kept giving me food. Adam kept bugging me and asking me if they were giving me chinese food (cause they were asian..lol)
Erika: Adam! Stop being mean they are really nice they give me food!
Adam: What sticky rice?
Erika: NO! Hahahahahahha!
My Auntie Sandra..who is technically my cousin of some kind..phoned to talk to my mom
Me: Hello?
Sandra: Hey hun how yah doin? Its your Auntie Sandy
Me: Yup, I know!
Sandra: Is your mother around?
Me: She sure is! Hold on..
--Hands the phone to mom--
Me: Its Sandy.
Mom: Oh..(puts the phone up to her ear) HEY BAG!
Me: (walking away) Wow I can feel the love.
Me, Auntie Lynnae, Kelsey and Tara were on our way back from the beach and Tara shared the nickname she came up with for Auntie
Tara: Since Lynnae means nose I got a good nickname..AUNTIE LYNNASAL!
--Everyone kills themselves laughing--
Erika: Wow that was good!
Kelsey: How about Auntie Lynnostril?
--Everyone dies laughing once again--
Tara: Wow that one was even better!!
Me and Channy were in my basement watching the bonuses of Law and Order SVU. And uh..Chris Meloni said something remotely interesting..
Chris Meloni (on TV)- I couldn't believe how many people were touched by sexual abuse
Channy: Touched by sexual abuse?
Erika: Doesn't sound good does it?
--Both burst out in laughter--
Me and Channy were watching a scene from Law and Order where Munch and Fin were in the cop car. Munch was reading the facts on the suspect, while Fin was eating his chinese food and complaining..
Munch (on TV): (reading the facts)
Fin (on TV): I don't think they gave us fortune cookies...
Munch (on TV): (continues reading more facts)
Fin (on TV): How many times you gonna read that? Where the fortune cookies at?
--Me and Channy point at each other--
Channy + Me: THATS SO US!!
We were at a BBQ for my Auntie Michelle before she left to go back to New York. My 23 year old cousin Amanda was pretty drunk...
Amanda (yelling): YOU KNOW THOSE PEOPLE WHEN THEY GET DRINKING AND START TO GET REALLY LOUD AND OBNOXIOUS?!
Erika: BELIEVE ME! I know the feeling!
[Me & Tara were at the lake being our silly selves. She forgot her blonde wig that day..but I definetly didn't..]
Tara: OHHHH You got beef?
Erika: Nah, I got hamburger!
Tara: That IS BEEF DUMBASS!
Erika: Oh..ya I guess it is ...
[Me & Auntie Michelle were on msn..and I was showing her some of my custom emoticons. The banana guy that dances, well I have a piece of poo that dances, at least I think thats what it is...and I showed it to Auntie Michelle..]
Auntie Michelle: Is that a piece of poo?
Erika: I don't know I guess...
Auntie Michelle: Are you saying I dance like shit?
[On the first day of school Craig was talking to me, and we saw this chick who is a major whore. And ya.. it was said really fast]
Craig: Is that Rama?
Erika: Yup.
Craig. Slut.
Me, Chantelle, and a couple other people were on the bench when Ms.Nelson walked by with food.
Ms.Nelson: Hi Erika!
Erika: Heyy!
Ms.Nelson: How are ya?
Erika: Good...you?
Ms.Nelson: Good!
Erika: I'm awesome..I mean thats awesome..Ughhh... I can't talk!
--Ms.Nelson smiled & everyone was laughing at me--
Erika: She had food...and you guys are laughing at me...now I'm all HUNGRY!!
Erika: Was that Mack?
Chantelle: Yup.
Erika: I see...I love his last name..Pococki..it reminds me of a chicken... Pocockkki!
Chantelle: Haha! Pocccookkiiii!
Erika: Wow, no wonder people think we're weird.
